Teddie: Destroyer of Worlds
by Vimbert
Summary: What if Teddie was behind the murders of Persona 4 and misled the Investigation Team all along? An AU short story with a minor crossover at the end.


Mike: It wasn't Adachi who killed people. It was Teddie.

"You've been beary, beary bad, you filthy whore…" A tiny figure, dressed in a bear costume, stared with an unblinking gaze at a slim woman in a pantsuit. They were standing in front of an electronics store on a dark summer's night.

"Wh-what are you? What do you want? Are you one of those otaku I talk about on the news? I-I warn you, I've got… I've got…" With shaky hands, she reached into her purse, reaching for the "Rape-B-Gone" brand pepper spray she had purchased from Tanaka's Amazing Commodities. She whipped out the bright red can, uncapped it, and pressed down the button, expecting a mighty spray of burning aerosol.

Nothing happened.

The bear-man laughed, a horrible sound that reminded the woman of an American movie about a killer clown she had watched once. "How beary silly!" He advanced, his suit making adorable squeaking noises as he backed the woman closer and closer to the TVs in the display behind the window.

"What do you want? I've… I've got money!"

"Why don't you _bear_ your vagina, like you did for your manwhore, your shitfuck!"

The woman was appalled at the noises coming from the tiny man's mouth. "I… I never…"

"Kidding!" With a cheerful grin, he shoved the screaming woman through the glass and into a TV, where she vanished. "And you'll be beary comfortable there." The bear stared for a moment, as though waiting for the right moment to deliver a followup. He stuck his head in and yelled after, "Until the Shadows devour you whole, though!"

The next day, it was raining, and Teddie went to talk to a totally unimportant gas station attendant. "Is it done?" the gas station attendant asked, somehow managing to not work during the busy, rainy day.

"She really bared her soul! It was fun!" The bear laghed, a jolly thing that reminded many a passing child of Japan's cheap knockoff of Santa Claus. Several mothers and their children gathered around to look at the costumed mascot-looking person.

"So hard to find good help these days…" the totally unimportant gas station attendant murmured. "Can't you ever walk around without that thing on?"

The bear shook its head rapidly and tumbled over. "I can't do that! You know why—"

"Yes, yes, my precious Ted." With a sigh, the totally unimportant gas station attendant pulled his/her cap down further to avoid attracting attention and helped the bear up. "Anyway, I'm about to deepen this little game."

"Good! It's bearly been a challenge!"

"_For the love of me, will you stop it with all the __Kunitokotachi-damned bear puns?"_

The bear tilted its head back, deep in thought. After a pregnant pause where the world seemed to hold its very breath, he answered, "No."

The unimportant gas station attendant ground her divine teeth together in frustration. "I hate you so much."

"Okay. Bye!" Teddie zoomed off, bowling over innocents left and right. The day after, the _Inana Fishwrap, _just underneath its usual headliner of "NAKED WOMEN INSIDE PLEASE BUY: Newspapers Still Important" listed a story about a costumed furtaku who knocked numerous children and old people into the road. However, since no one ever used Inaba's roads unless they went to the Amagi Inn or Junes, there were no fatalities except for the people who killed themselves because they saw it.

Meanwhile, the unimportant gas station attendant had business to attend to. "Are you in high school? Does it surprise a city boy to see how little there is out here?"

Many months later, the Investigation Team was closing in on Adachi, who they knew was the true culprit because… well, who else could it have been, really?

"Okay guys, this is it! Adachi is just through here!" Rise spoke into their minds.

Teddie smiled. It had taken a bit of work on his part, but she had made a beary good pawn. It had been easy to distract the rest of the team with that fake Shadow Teddie—a well-timed gift from the unimportant gas station attendant, no doubt—while Teddie had overridden her weak will with one more suited to his purposes: one that would be fun!

And she had come through in a big way! Once Teddie realized that her ability to detect things and speak in peoples' minds was even stronger than his, all he'd had to do was get to her in a moment of weakness. After all, you can fool some of the people some of the time, but fool the right ones, and the rest will fall behind. This had beary much been the case!

The party charged in, all seeing the false perception Teddie (and thus Rise) was broadcasting into their feeble human minds. However, Teddie saw the truth, so he saw things just a bit differently.

Adachi, his suit torn and stained with his own feces from when he'd first encountered the Shadows, whimpered in a corner. "Please… haven't you done enough, you awful bear… just leave me alone…"

Teddie said nothing, but merely watched with growing satisfaction as his unwitting pawns took up heroic poses and spouted lines about philosophy and something or other. Let them indulge their messianic complexes all they wanted. They'd never lay _bear_ the truth.

Adachi drew his gun, trembling. "Please… I-I know one of you can stop all this. You can fight the Shadows! I've seen you defeat them! Let's join forces! We can get to the bottom of all this and defeat the real villain."

Teddie glanced in alarm and noticed his thralls' expressions were wavering. Adachi's words were somehow piercing through his illusion. There was no danger of what he'd said being heard by any of them—yet. However, Teddie had to act fast. With a roar, he leapt at Adachi, knowing his slaves would follow.

"Bear pile on the enemy!" Teddie screamed as the entire Investigation Team beat the living fuck out of a man wearing shit-stained trousers and whimpering for his mother while simultaneously throwing up. To them, it seemed as though they were fighting some epic battle, Teddie knew. How amusing it would be to them to know they were going bearzerk on a helpless police officer! Or at least it should have been. If they weren't all a bunch of pointless puppets who had gotten a little too close to the truth.

After all was said and done and the blood of Adachi was on all their hands, Kanji revealed the mini-bar he'd smuggled in his inventory and they all got completely smashed. Teddie had to give Kanji one thing, and that was his resourcefulness. Had things been different, Kanji could well have been something far better than a mere puppet.

Teddie totally scored with all the ladies that night. And everyone ate boozedinner that night.

Time came and went, and eventually the day that the so-called "leader" of the group, the one with the annoying and puzzling ability to get a Persona on his own, was scheduled to leave. Teddie liked Sensei. He was a morally upright fuckwit sometimes, but he was the older brother of Nana-chan, and had brought Teddie back from a very secret hiding place. Teddie still had no idea how he'd puled that off.

Nana-chan. Teddie had never meant for her to get hurt.

But that didn't matter now. For somehow, that bearly speaking white knight had managed to find Izanami's lair, and Teddie's attempts to re-fog his mind weren't working. What had gone wrong here?

Teddie pondered this as they carved through the gas station attendant's minions without so much as a scratch. His little strike force had grown strong—perhaps too strong. How could he save himself? Izanami would, no doubt, reveal his identity when pressed. Could he pass it off as a desperate lie? Yes, yes clearly that was the best plan of action.

Before he realized it, they were before his boss. As they trudged through the dungeon, Teddie's hold had slipped further and further on the team, to the point where a few even seemed to be ignoring him, as though a few subconsciously knew what he had done. Teddie chanced a glance at Rise, who was hanging back, protected by the reserve members as usual. What did she suspect? How free of his grasp was she?

"Ted… you have failed me." As he had predicted, Izanami went straight for him.

"Me? I'm just an innocent bear. What are you talking about?" To his dismay, he noticed a few team members—not Kanji, bless his incredibly gay heart—glaring at him in suspicion. "C-come on guys, we gotta take her down!"

Yosuke stepped forward. Ah, Teddie thought, here was his salvation. Yosuke had always been easy to control. "Come on, guys!" Yosuke called. "This is just the send-off our leader deserves. So come on… time for the grand finale!"

The battle was intense. Teddie knew something of his mistress' strength, but had never witnessed it personally. After all, even for someone as bumfuck crazy as him, fighting a god was not something one could take lightly.

Then, something horrible happened. Their leader, Beary Bearback (Teddie had had a bit of fun amidst all his brainwashing work), had unleashed the Orb of Truth on Iznami, revealing the truth of everything.

They all stood there for a moment, transfixed. Iznami, too, paused, allowing the team time to collect themselves.

"M-my God…" Chie whispered. "Teddie… it's been Teddie all along…

"What right do you have to play with our minds, you punk?!" Kanji yelled, brandishing his throne threateningly.

"I can't believe this… Teddie, after we…!" Conflict ruled Yosuke's face. After all, they'd been living together, an arrangement Teddie had taken full advantage of. "I'm scarred for life thanks to youuuuuuuuu!" Yosuke screamed, brandishing his knives.

The rest of the team gathered around the troublesome truthseeker, having seen the truth at last.

"Children of man…" Izanami said, now revealed in all her skeletal glory.

The team bristled, realizing they might have to fight two powerful foes at once.

"Children of man," Izanami said again. "I know that we have our troubles, but the one you call Teddie has done both of us a great wrong. Partners?"

Everyone looked to Beary. He paused for a moment, and extended a mortal hand towards the undead goddess. "Partners," he said. The two shook, in a truly ridiculous motion, then turned to Teddie.

Mortals more powerful than any who had walked the earth and a divine being stood before Teddie. The odds were against him. There was no way he could lie his way out or possibly prevail. So he laughed.

"What are you laughing for?" Rise demanded, her face flush with adorable anger. Teddie liked her emotional. "You've got us and Izanami to deal with now, and I already know your weaknesses!"

"Fool…" Teddie rumbled, reaching for his zipper. "Do you truly think that anything you detected while my mind-slave was true? Or that you're totally free of my influence, even now?"

Izanami's skeletal colossus drew back. "Careful, mortals. The one you call 'Teddie' is not to be taken lightly. I shall assist you as best he can, but this being has as much power as myself."

The team nodded.

"I don't like being lied to!" Yosoke cried.

"I've felt rather than thought for too long." Chie did some shadowboxing as she stared down the thing that had controlled her mind for months.

"I'll make you pay." Rise glared with pure hatred.

"I can't begin to express how many things you've done wrong." Naoto drew her pistol.

"I trusted you, ya damn bear…" Kanji punched the ground.

"How unchivalrous." Yukiko unfolded her fan.

"We shall fight." Their leader—their true leader, now—gestured at Teddie with his katana.

Teddie kept giggling as he unzipped his suit and removed the head. For the first time, they saw his true form—not the disguise within the disguise he'd shown them all while they were under his manipulation.

Out of the bear costume, a young man with spiky black hair, an old-fashioned blue military uniform, and a massive rifle/machine gun stepped out. He cracked his neck in either direction, letting them get a good look at the caked blood coating his face. As he stepped forward, brandishing his Ruhm machine gun, he let a crooked smile come over his face. "Hi, I'm Ted!"


End file.
